Friday, 29 July 2011

You don't love me, so don't call me 'love'.

I went into five different shops in the space of half an hour this morning. In each one, someone I'd never met before called me by a term of endearment. 'Love', 'darling', 'sweetheart', words that used to mean something special (if you're into that sappy way of thinking).

This is not friendly. It's not a way of getting people to like you. This is rudeness. I don't know you, and I certainly don't love you - chances are you don't feel that way about me either, so why are you talking to me as if we've been besties since nursery?

It's weirdest when I hear someone who's clearly learned English as a second language call me 'love' or 'darling'. Where have they picked this up from? When I've learned other languages, there have always been clear guides on etiquette and how to address people of different ages and people with different roles. I haven't studied German properly for years, but I know you don't call a customer in a shop 'liebchen'.

I'm thinking of getting a T-shirt made - "Call me 'darling' and I will kick you in the head."

Saturday, 2 July 2011

Stupid questions sometimes result in hilarious answers.

A train station. The 12:40 to Nottingham is pulling up to the platform. A man walks by two monitors displaying the details of the next train due in, and by the timetable on the wall.

Man: What's this?

Me: A train.

His dirty look was definitely worth it.